I'd been kissed before, by lots of different people, including the woman who was kissing me at that moment. But she had never kissed me like that before. Nobody had ever kissed me like that before. It was a kiss that threatened to pull my insides out through my nose if I didn't suck in enough air to block that avenue of escape. My heart hammered in my chest. My lungs labored like I'd just finished a five mile sprint. My groin felt like it was just going to break loose and fall in a heap. It was so powerful, with her lips chewing almost, and her tongue flicking in and out of my mouth, that I honestly thought something in each of us had flowed together to join in a way that could never... ever ... be separated. It must be what twins feel like, when they say they can feel what each other is feeling.Her lips dragged off mine, and I distinctly remember leaning forward, trying not to let hers get away. I had closed my eyes and as I opened them I saw hers, only inches away. They fluttered. But dad just continued to stare disbelievingly. Mom was stroking my hair and sobbing, just as before.Finally they turned away and the doctor covered my face with the sheet."No" I screamed, " I'm not dead" I flailed by arms, kicked my legs and screamed again. But all my efforts went unheeded. What ever I was now, I was invisible and inaudible to the world I knew. I really was dead.By the time of my wake I had still not fully accepted the idea of being dead. The funeral home sent a car for mom and dad. I really didn't like the thought of being on display, but I was curious to see what they had done with me.A crowd had already gathered when we arrived. I followed my parents into the home, passing through the crowd unnoticed. The room where I lay was filled with flowers. My casket lay on a low table. It was glowing shining white with gold handles and trim. The lid was open.I hesitated once again. I knew that what I would see would only add to the weight of a reality I did not yet want to.
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